Imagine this scenario:
You’re taking an elevator to the top floor of a building. Suddenly, the elevator stops at the 2nd floor and a stranger steps in who’s also headed for the top floor.
You exchange eye contact and a slight head nod then the stranger steps in and the elevator closes.
In the dead silence, only broken by the elevator engine kicking gears, you overhear that the stranger is listening to your favorite band.
Do you initiate a conversation or not?
The answer will depend on the person. But I wager that the group that said no is likely against small talk.
Initiating that short —and shallow— elevator conversation can be annoying, meaningless, or even anxiety-inducing.
Over the recent years, more and more people have been expressing their disinterest in small talk.
They don’t want to know how their coworkers’ weekend has been, discuss the local weather, or entertain others who waste their time.
Rightfully so as these “NPC-like” icebreakers fail to spark the engaging talk most people search for — especially if these questions are being told over and over which is the case for someone who is actively dating.
However, I’m here to clarify that your hate towards small talk is actually a dislike for non-smooth conversation.
A common point mentioned across Tiktoks of small-talk haters is that they crave a conversation that piques their interests.
Given that Gen-Z’s interests are VASTLY different than what most common small-talk conversations cover, it ends up being a generic vanilla conversation.
Add to that the fact that most people who initiate small talk are either A) Older than Gen-Z or B) Learning to socialize through books and online advice — and the end result is trying old tricks on new dogs.
The key to avoiding boring small talk is to adapt the subject and questions according to the person you’re talking to.
For instance, back when I volunteered at the First Lego League 2023 International in Marrakech, I found myself among hundreds of people from different countries.
Yet the best way I was able to connect with them was by initiating small talk. I always made sure to open conversations by saying: “Is it true that your country is popular for “X stereotype” ?”
And you would be surprised by how far this question would take me.
The point is, that I am a strong advocate for small talk. It is mislabeled based on outdated methods and questions that aren’t relatable to Gen-Z and below.
So the next time you’re on an elevator with a stranger, try to point out something in common.
You might just experience the best summer of your life.
That’s it for this newsletter, I hope you enjoyed it.
What do you think? Are you team small-talk?
Let me know by replying to this email or leaving a comment. I’ll reply to you I swear :)
What I’ve been up to
It finally seems like all the projects that were previously on hold are moving. With it comes the extra headache of sending invoices and chasing them down.
Nonetheless, here’s what I’ve been up to:
Published the Moroccan Scholarship Guide
Cooking up an article about a local NGO for a big anglophone Arab publication
Figuring out how exactly can I tackle next blog’s subject
What have you been up to?